Thursday, February 8, 2024

Hardest lesson my Mom taught me

In college I liked to party. As the years rolled on it was harder for me to stay on course. Thankfully I went to a small private school that didn't let me get lost in the sauce. 

By senior year it was touch and go. I was steadily riding my GPA down to the lowest level possible while still being able to graduate and now that I was over 21 partying was easier than ever - the weekday specials at the bars were unmatched! $1 pitchers sign me up. 

One of the bigger mistakes I made was not managing my money all that well. Instead of paying tuition with summer wages I told myself that I would pay near the end of the semester and it would be nice to have some walking around money. That money got drank up. 

I was able to cobble together tuition and roll into the final semester of senior year but my money habits were solidified.  Working wages went to partying first and rent second.

Then one month I was a little short to my roommates. A quick call my parents and they said 'yes' to the $100 requested but don't call asking them again.

I called again next month. 

Dad was on the phone, I needed $200 this time.  He was giving in. He didn't want to tell me 'no' in my time of need. Then he gave the phone to Mom. 

"We don't have it" she said. 

Bullshit. I knew they had it but she said repeated sorry but they don't. 

I hung up the phone outraged. I couldn't believe they said 'no'. 

Now I was panicked. There was only a couple people in my life that had $200 extra dollars and the possibility of saying yes to me asking for it. 

I called Gunnar. I broke down crying asking for the money justifiably feeling like the huge piece of shit I was. 

Gunnar deposited the money the next day and my checked cleared. 

I never made that mistake again. I paid the bills first after that.* 

As a parent I can see how hard this must have been on Mom and Dad. The easier thing would have been to say yes. And they were right in thinking I would come back for more next time - I would have. 

I hope that I am as good of parent in that way if it is ever needed. I can only imagine how hard it was to do the right thing by saying 'No'. 


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*I also had to learn a lesson a few months later about paying car insurance. But hey, that helped me chose the US Army.

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