Failing Small

Human nature seems to abhor failure.  

Paradoxically, failure is critical to our growth.  

People need to try new things, push the boundaries on ability, push the rules both written and unwritten in society. 

This is not the same as breaking the law and ruining your life. Some rules can bend and some can break. 

As a parent maybe one of the bigger struggles is to allow your child to fail small. Sounds easy until you find yourself in the day to day. The want for one's own life to go smooth means micromanaging or helicoptering over your kids. Suppose all of us parents are guilty to some degree. 

As my oldest gets older, the realization that he needs to be pushing the boundaries more before he leaves the house. Life can be a little cold. Boss's don't want excuses, landlords need the rent. 

Allowing our kids to try and fail to see the consequences allows them to not fail BIGGER later in life when the stakes are drastically higher. 

The importance of us individually to keep getting out of our comfort zones as we age and keep trying things that we are likely to fail at but may pay off later. The roots of life have a way to grabbing hold. 

Scott Adam's book 'How To Fail At Almost Everything and Still Win Big' does a good job of explaining this benefit. 

If the goal is to grow as a person or raise a person who will grow - failure is the only path. 

Financial Independence

 A often discussed topic - Financial Independence. 

The definition is highly subjective to each individual. With most coming down to some number multiplied by your salary or yearly expenses. 

But I offer for consideration a more objective umber. $100k.  

$100k number where many things start to compound.  

10% returns in the stock market now are sizable enough to start moving the needle. There are more 20% up years than 10% up years - and that can compound significantly over the decades.

$100k is likely a 2-3 years worth of a persons yearly expenses. $100k provides some base level of freedom that you can float a few months between jobs without much worry. Having that level of stability alone can be life changing as you are not taking a job because you have to but you can wait on a job that is the right one.  A high level of job satisfaction is for most people the biggest professional accomplishment. 

Lastly, $100k means you have set up your life in a way to make it happen. A person doesn't get $100k by accident. You have to earn, save and invest to get there. Habits not easily formed and imbedded too deep in behavior to stop by the time you reach $100k paving the way for the future. 

$100k may not be for everyone. I get that. It is however a good goal to strive for when setting about life if money is a concern to you.  

Prediction In Real Estate Markets

 With the National Association of Realtors market lawsuit now finalized I have an assessment for the future. 

Decoupling the buyer and seller commissions will lead to a 90% destruction in costs in the intermediate future. 

Right now it was ~6% of a price of a house split between buyer and seller agents. What a joke. 

Someone smart is going to come in and drive this price down to rock bottom and drive competition out of the market.  There will be plenty of people out there willing to lose in the short term to dominate the market in the long term. 

If you are a realtor or broker and running a lean operation you will be out soon.  I don't think the realtors that have been in the market for a long time make it out of this. It will be too hard to adapt. They are too acclimated to their overhead and profit margins.  

This is a world most of us have had to live in for a long time. Becoming efficient and keeping costs in check. 

I wouldn't be invested in a realty or broker right now. 

Exciting times!

Easily Slighted (Comedy Bit)

 If I ever do standup I need to have a log of bits to pull from. 

I have a personality that is easily slighted and angered. I imagine most of us do but most people think that 'yeah, if you get rear ended in a car accident with the other driver looking at his phone' yeah that pisses me off. Or if your only daughter is traveling Europe with her friend and while she is talking to you on the phone a international gang breaks into her room, kidnaps her friends while your daughter is hiding under the bed but ultimately she is taken to be sold off to some middle eastern prince in shady dealings - that type of thing would make me fly off the handle. 

I want to burn it down if someone bumps into me walking down the hallway. 

I am willing to ruin my life to take someone down a peg if they don't shake my hand when they should have. 

Probably something I got to work on. 

Roth IRA

 A Roth IRA may be the best investment vehicle a person can do. 

Here are some of my unpaid for thoughts on it:

1) Grows Tax Free 

2) No taxes on withdrawals at 59.5 yrs

3) You can borrow money from the account for certain things like house downpayment - this means your money isn't necessarily tied up forever

That is all pretty good. The government thinks this is such an incredible vehicle they limit what you can contribute to this.  

My oldest worked as a W2 this year and made almost $2k. I opened a Roth IRA for him. Most open Roth IRA's with their first full time job after college - think 25-30 years old. 

Investing in one 10-15 years earlier can have drastic consequences on the compounding.  

Will he be set for life? No, not by a long shot. 

Will it help? For sure. 

And this feels like a gift that won't be realized until long after I am gone. Something about having something that is going that my kids will benefit from feels good. 

But life is pretty ironic. This account could easily do well and my name never gets mentioned. 

A good day

A good day for me is pretty easy - just seems a little selfish.

The things that you need to keep you balanced are opposite of what you experience the majority of the time. 

If you are away from your family, a good day is to play with your kids. 

If you are a stay at home, a good day is when you have a few hours to yourself. 

It's a dynamic pursuit based on your life as it is at that time. 

Too much chaos and your want a little order. Too much order and you and a little chaos spice's life up nicely. 

At this point in my life - staying at home with three kids at home - having a few hours in the day to read, workout, and put energy to a pursuit like this blog, the podcast, or the newsletter makes the difference. 

I know when I am at a different stage and the kids are grown a good day will be them coming over for a dinner or a phone call. 

It feels like their are people who can be so present that they seemingly enjoy being swamped in whatever their life currently is without the want of the opposite. Color me jealous because I very much need my feet firmly planted in both to log a good day. 

Hardest lesson my Mom taught me

In college I liked to party. As the years rolled on it was harder for me to stay on course. Thankfully I went to a small private school that didn't let me get lost in the sauce. 

By senior year it was touch and go. I was steadily riding my GPA down to the lowest level possible while still being able to graduate and now that I was over 21 partying was easier than ever - the weekday specials at the bars were unmatched! $1 pitchers sign me up. 

One of the bigger mistakes I made was not managing my money all that well. Instead of paying tuition with summer wages I told myself that I would pay near the end of the semester and it would be nice to have some walking around money. That money got drank up. 

I was able to cobble together tuition and roll into the final semester of senior year but my money habits were solidified.  Working wages went to partying first and rent second.

Then one month I was a little short to my roommates. A quick call my parents and they said 'yes' to the $100 requested but don't call asking them again.

I called again next month. 

Dad was on the phone, I needed $200 this time.  He was giving in. He didn't want to tell me 'no' in my time of need. Then he gave the phone to Mom. 

"We don't have it" she said. 

Bullshit. I knew they had it but she said repeated sorry but they don't. 

I hung up the phone outraged. I couldn't believe they said 'no'. 

Now I was panicked. There was only a couple people in my life that had $200 extra dollars and the possibility of saying yes to me asking for it. 

I called Gunnar. I broke down crying asking for the money justifiably feeling like the huge piece of shit I was. 

Gunnar deposited the money the next day and my checked cleared. 

I never made that mistake again. I paid the bills first after that.* 

As a parent I can see how hard this must have been on Mom and Dad. The easier thing would have been to say yes. And they were right in thinking I would come back for more next time - I would have. 

I hope that I am as good of parent in that way if it is ever needed. I can only imagine how hard it was to do the right thing by saying 'No'. 

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*I also had to learn a lesson a few months later about paying car insurance. But hey, that helped me chose the US Army.